Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sullen

Geez, my last post made me feel like I'm such an old sourpuss. I actually don't feel that way. I'm just turning 25, for Pete's sake. But yeah, whenever I'm not with friends, I turn into this dour, humorless, boring guy.

For example, people at work see me as a snob. Mahirap daw ako pakisamahan. But you know what? I couldn't help it. The time I spent at work was the same time I learned about my status. Naturally I was at my wits' end trying to stay productive despite of having this virus wreaking havoc in my body, that's all! I mean, who would stay all happy-cheery during those days, right? Worst part is, I can't explain it to them why I was so grumpy. All they knew was that I'm a bitch. I was good at what I do, yes, but I was a bitch. At least it was easy to leave.

But that has left me wondering, how long am I gonna stay this way? I dislike being an asshole. I'm a nice person by default. Too nice to the point of boredom. Seriously, I've no social skills whatsoever. It's a good thing though that I'm past trying to please everyone around me. But still, it bugs me every once in a while.

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